Reticent Rose

I’ve been reluctant to write about my detour called Lyme disease. And really, until recently, I haven’t had the mental or emotional energy to do so. But, once again, this horrific journey has given me an opportunity I wouldn’t have had without it.

I like to read letters to the editor, and one of my favourite regional magazines had one that got my attention. It was from a man who, like me, is struggling with Lyme. He suggested they do a piece on the disease. The editor assured the reader he would consider doing a couple of articles on the topic in the future.  Opportunity knocked, so I had to open the door.

I submitted a query at the prompting of the assistant editor and within a few hours the editor asked me to ‘please’ write the article. My slant? A piece written from personal experience would be a great compliment to other articles on the same topic.  The editor couldn’t say when it would be published, but he was going to do an article or two himself. So, maybe in the spring, when the devilish ticks are in the nymph stage– and when most people are infected– my story will be in print.

Writing about this time of my life has been really hard. Obviously, I’m emotionally close to the issue and my emotions are all over the map these days. Not to mention the fact it’s mentally draining. But the real trouble is I like to share my trials after the fact; after the victory. Except this is different. I don’t know when the war will be won, so talking about the little victories will have to do.

I said yes to the article, but I struggle with overcoming my need to write from a place of triumph. I keep thinking maybe by the time I write it I’ll be completely better, and be able to end the piece on a great note of hope. I like hope. Not the “I hope it happens” kind, but the sure thing kind of hope. The biblical kind that says I win in the end.

I guess I’ll put aside my reticence and make the most of my unexpected detour. And I guess it’s nice to think my experience might save someone else from the misery of Lyme Disease.

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